My son discovered his feet a couple of weeks ago. Naturally, he has not stopped playing with them since. Have you ever looked in to a baby’s eyes the moment they discover something new? There is a spark, a light, in their eyes that was not there before. You can almost see them learning. If you have not experienced this, I hope that one day you are able to. I have been lucky enough to see those exact moments twice now. The first time he realized he had hands and the second, his feet. You know that feeling you get when you come to a realization? It just washes over you. I imagine that is how babies feel when they figure out that those funny little wiggly toes belong to them.
It is so simple, so natural, and so perfect. I am not sure what will come next. I imagine getting up on his hands and knees since he already rolls all over the place and scoot around on his stomach. The days go by so fast, although they can seem so long.
I admire him often, it has been rewarding and enlightening to watch him grow every day. I try to take it all in and adapt some of that lost child like magic in my life- like, when ten little fingers meet ten little toes and there is nothing more needed in the world.
Feeling a little like Super Mom the last couple of weeks. I cannot believe I am now to the point where I can actually manage to get things done that do not have to do with the baby. My little guy is a month old now and it seems like a few days ago I was a walking zombie that could not even manage to go to the bathroom without some sort of help. While I still do not get to pee as much as I would like, it is nice to have little moments to do other things for my own sanity. I never thought I would be happy to do the dishes. Sure, I could still use the million hours of sleep I must have lost and the new mom bags under my eyes prove that but you have to pick your battles.
I guess it gets easier as time goes on, you live and you learn like everything else in life. Every moment is worth it though. I might not be super productive or productive at all in a day but my life has never been more fulfilled.
My son, Noah, and I
My entire pregnancy I spent my time preparing in any way that I could. Making a birth plan is an important way lots of soon to be moms spend their time preparing, I was no different. I intended on having a natural, medication free, with the least possible amount of medical interventions birthing experience. As usual, nothing went as planned and shit hit the fan even before my day came. What I ended up with was being pumped full of drugs and using quite a few interventions. That is one thing I have learned in my three short weeks being a Mom. Actually, it is probably the first thing I learned in my new role; nothing goes as planned. You know what? It sucks. I am the kind of person that needs control of situations and that definitely does not happen in my life any longer. I would not change it for the world though.
As I type this I am sitting here looking over at my beautiful three week old son who is currently napping in his swing. He is perfect and I have never been more happy than at this point. This little guy is pure chaos in my life but it is just so right. Being a Mom is crazy and we are crazy to go through everything we do to be parents. I totally get it now though, these moments are so precious and are gone entirely too fast. I intend to enjoy every single moment of chaos, as hard as it might be sometimes.