Perfect Chaos


My son, Noah, and I

My son, Noah, and I

My entire pregnancy I spent my time preparing in any way that I could. Making a birth plan is an important way lots of soon to be moms spend their time preparing, I was no different. I intended on having a natural, medication free, with the least possible amount of medical interventions birthing experience.  As usual, nothing went as planned and shit hit the fan even before my day came. What I ended up with was being pumped full of drugs and using quite a few interventions.  That is one thing I have learned in my three short weeks being a Mom. Actually, it is probably the first thing I learned in my new role; nothing goes as planned. You know what? It sucks. I am the kind of person that needs control of situations and that definitely does not happen in my life any longer.  I would not change it for the world though.

As I type this I am sitting here looking over at my beautiful three week old son who is currently napping in his swing. He is perfect and I have never been more happy than at this point. This little guy is pure chaos in my life but it is just so right. Being a Mom is crazy and we are crazy to go through everything we do to be parents.  I totally get it now though, these moments are so precious and are gone entirely too fast. I intend to enjoy every single moment of chaos, as hard as it might be sometimes.


2 thoughts on “Perfect Chaos

  1. I’m in the third trimester of my second pregnancy. Reading this reminds me of the first few months after my son was born, where I still wanted rules, order and predictability. I was so grateful for an NP who guided me toward trusting my instincts and away from expecting perfect the and reason to things. Of course, I have found a rhyme and rhythm to things the last few years, so I am a little nervous about starting anew . . . but excited, too. It’s a messy but beautiful learning process.



    • Thank you! It really is a crazy amazing experience. I am so in love with him, I didn’t even know that was possible. It makes it all worth it. Congrats on your new arrival. You will have to let me know how different it is adding another one to the mix once he or she makes their way into this world! I wish you a safe and quick birth!


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